True but thats because hes a fetus.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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