Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
