Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
