if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
