She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
