Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
