turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize