you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
