I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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