I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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