it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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