So drunk its hurt
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
