The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
