They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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