Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
