I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I've blown a few things in my day
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
