Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize