you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
