How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
