you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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