she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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