so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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