He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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