What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
