her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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