I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
