i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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