4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
