I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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