I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this just has baby written all over it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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