dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
