I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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