I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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