win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
