anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's get the cat blown out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
