She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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