You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Your cock deserves a montage
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
