In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
