she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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