i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
