Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
