sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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