This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
