I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
