But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
