If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
