I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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