Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
