trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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