How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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