this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize