So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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