I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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