i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have fence marks all over my body
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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