You smell like a Billy Joel song
she looked like the before picture.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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